extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2015-02-03 12:01 am

[sticky entry] Sticky: Fics, Fandoms, and other stuff.

I'm a Finnish fanficcer and University student. I write stuff occasionally. The best way to find my works is on AO3: [archiveofourown.org profile] ExtraPenguin . I also have a tumblr: [tumblr.com profile] extra-penguin. I can also be found as ExtraPenguin on #thegoblinemperor and #yuletide on SlashNET. I'm a he. (Probably.)

I mod the [community profile] space_swap and [community profile] coronationceremony exchanges as well as the past few iterations of the Bujold Fest.

Transformative works: I give blanket permission to remix, podfic, make fanart of, etc. any of my fics, provided that you list it as a related work on AO3 or otherwise make me aware of the result.

Main Fandoms For Which I've Produced Stuff:
Vorkosigan Saga (Lois McMaster Bujold)
The Goblin Emperor (Katherine Addison)
Honor Harrington series (David Weber)

I've also written the first english-language Yoko Tsuno fic on AO3 and some other one-off stuff. All of it's on AO3, even the stuff prompted and originally posted on Tumblr, DreamWidth, or #thegoblinemperor on SlashNET.

My fandoms are near-exclusively SF novels. Other interests include horses, feminism (in the non-Tumblr-SJW, non-academic way), symphonic metal, vicariously experiencing emotions via the rants of others, stroking my hateboners for some things, and writing origfic.

If I do socially step on your toes/kick you in the face, please tell me so that I can not repeat it. Asperger's means I missed all the social cue stuff growing up.

(Last edited: 15 Jul 2017)

fandoms, a nonexhaustive listing of sorts – awareness more than participation )
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extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-08-18 07:15 pm
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Worldcon: Friday

They started moving stuff into bigger rooms on Friday. Here are my notes:

Read more... )
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-08-17 09:07 pm
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Worldcon: Thursday

The early bird gets the worm, so I identified all the panels I Really Wanted to go to, then went to queue at least 40 minutes before they started. I mostly went to the science things, since I was at least partially there to get some writing mojo and inspiration, and also if I've already encountered an idea, re-encountering it later makes learning it then easier. Here are my notes on last Thursday beneath the cut. (Updated 18.8.)

Oh, and Worldcon has put up videos of some of the panels, plus the opening ceremonies.

Read more... )
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-08-16 09:16 pm
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Worldcon: Wednesday

I arrived, registration was painless enough, and then I went to do panels. They had seriously underestimated the amount of people attending on Wednesday, so everything was packed, and I didn't fit into many panels. Have my mostly unedited notes from last week.

Read more... )
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-08-14 07:25 pm

Music Monday Meme + Worldconning

6. A song that makes you want to dance
Walk the Moon - Shut Up and Dance With Me (link to a video with a movie dance compilation)
This is also a song that cheers me up immensely. It has even managed to acquire YouTube comments (typically the dreg pits of lost faith in humanity) such as "This is one of the most beautifully crafted music videos I've seen on this site. Every scene matched the beat, rhythm, tone, and mood of the song. This is what makes a great music video."
In slightly related news, I have connected with a local queer in a maybe perhaps romantic way. I'm certainly grinning like an idiot. Let's see what happens.

I also survived Worldcon! I'll be putting up my panel etc notes for each day a week late – ie, I'll start with Wednesday's on next Wednesday, and so on and so forth. I managed to read two and a half books queueing up for stuff: Jussi Katajala's Nollameridiaani ja muita tarinoita (a compilation of shorts, from refreshingly Finnish to refreshingly un-American to utterly intriguing, to my knowledge untranslated but should be worth a check), Emmi Itäranta's Teemestarin kirja (aka Memory of Water; pretty much at the litfic end of what I like reading, but very immersive in worldbuilding and I loved all of the water metaphors), and half of Alastair Reynolds' Pushing Ice (so far, typically Reynoldsianly dark and gloomy like gothic metal, but with an intriguing premise).
Other purchases include O.E. Lönnberg's Langanpäitä (a drabble collection, signed by the author who was also the sales clerk), Shimo Suntila's Tähtiviima (a collection of shorts, set in space probably), Alastair Reynolds' Revenger and Century Rain, Stephen Baxter's Xeelee: An Omnibus (seemingly an omnibus of his Xeelee series), three T-shirts (both the Worldcon 75 ones and the Dublin 2019 one), two necklaces for my LARP-a-woman needs, and a space-related oil painting triptych (expensive but very much worth). Freebies include the souvenir book and Giants at the End of the World: A Showcase of Finnish Weird, ed. Johanna Sinisalo & Toni Jerrman.

Artists whose work I liked include: Hannele Parviala (twitter, example art), Lisa Konrad (official site), John Granacki (official site), Sergey Shikin (interview & example arts), Vitaly Yekleris (I think this is his pinterest and here are some book covers by him, but I can't really be sure), Minna Louhelainen (official site), and Eeva Turkka (twitter, an art).
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-08-07 04:32 pm
Entry tags:

Music Monday Meme

5. A song that needs to be played LOUD
Amaranthe - Razorblade
This is the most positive and encouraging song I know. I like to put it on when I'm feeling discouraged – it tends to fix the world. <3

Tomorrow, I go to Worldcon. Other stuff: the egg donation place called me back and I have a mandatory doctor's appointment related to that in a few weeks. Additionally, one of the people I messaged on an internet dating site messaged me back, and we're meeting next Monday. Let's see what happens. <3
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-08-03 08:35 pm

All the cats and the dogs and even the penguins

With regards to things that must be done sometime but not now, I am a human disaster zone. At least I have lots of friends I can ask favors from, and that is the story of how I am actually going to be able to do Worldcon in a proper fashion rather than commute back and forth from my current location. (Technically doable, but deeply unpleasant.)

I am practicing some singing techniques to help with vocal stamina whilst instructing the newbies at work. Also trying to figure out where my "relaxed vocal vibration" point is – turns out it's quite low! Attempting to reconnect with it and rebuild my voice around it. (My Finnish is closer; my English is inexplicably a few semitones higher.)

Coronation Ceremony's sign-ups are done (my least favorite part of running any exchanges: waiting for the countdowns to finish so I can move to the next stage), and everyone was matchable! I even successfully massaged some loose ends into the loop! Now, I look at my assignment and try to recover my writing urge. It's mostly a question of attitude + letting the proto-ideas percolate. As an aside, I always let AO3's random come up with an assignment for me when I'm modding – it makes for a way more interesting experience!

But tomorrow, I'm off to a friend's – so I need to pack for the weekend. It'll be the most north I've been by 33.5' N – about 60-odd km, if I'm doing the math right. Well north of 60, in any case. I must pack.

(One day I'll visit the polar night. One day, I promise myself.)

(Visiting south of 60°N is all well and good, but even my current 61-and-a-bit is a bit surprisingly southern for a place to live. (What can I say? I like my winters long and dark.) If only there were any potential jobs in my field near, idk, Iisalmi. That seems to be close enough to The South that it's possible to go there if necessary (albeit not as a day trip), and a small enough place to be chill. OTOH, my parents still own my childhood home #1 near here. It's in a valley. Maybe that'd be enough. Maybe I just have to find a job in my field in ... Canada?)
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-31 06:59 pm
Entry tags:

Music Monday Meme

4. A song that reminds you of someone you'd rather forget about
Indica - Sanoja "Words"
It's in Finnish, but the video has a translation in it, and I've added a translation onto LyricsTranslate here. Indica's stuff is very appealing in a good-with-language way, which doesn't translate, but the metaphors should. It's a very minimal, speak-around-a-thing sort of songwriting, but the picture painted is remarkably accurate.

And since that song is more "reminds me of myself back then" than outright "reminds me of a fuckass ex", have a bonus song:
Delain - Suckerpunch
I do not fit in girlfriend-shaped boxes. I refuse to try.
Leave me to my solitude / Where I'm self-defined
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-27 05:18 pm

Worldcon approacheth

Accommodations: still searching for an acquaintance whose couch to crash on. (Don't worry overmuch, I have like 5 billion of them, and if all else fails, I have a cousin who lives there.)

Schedule: ahahahaha... KonOpas doesn't seem to work, sigh. I can select stuffs, but it doesn't sync with Firefox. *grumbles* I suppose I'll just have to export it to my google calendar. (And by "export it", I mean "export everything even vaguely interesting", because I want to have options re: panels, and who needs food breaks ahahaha lolsob.)

I think I'll buy a notebook and write down a schedule and take notes from the interesting panels. I'm going to Fantasies of Free Movement at 12 on Wednesday and have nothing at 13, so if anyone wants to meet and grab a late lunch, that's one possibility.

(The con guide is here. It's 100% OK to inquire as to whether I'm going to a particular panel. I've seen Mark Halmagiu's "To Boldly No: Realism in Space Sci-Fi" last year, and can heartily recommend it to all interested parties.)

EDIT: Okay I figured out how to get sustainable links. Still can't get the import into Google Calendars to work, but the list of things I'm preliminarily interested in is here. Mostly, stuff that tickles my fancy. See you at at least some of them?
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-24 08:56 pm
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Music Monday Meme

3. A song that reminds you of summer
Amaranthe - Automatic

This one was actually quite hard, as I loathe summer with the passion of a thousand fiery suns (it's too bright! and hot!) but Automatic is the sort of upbeat/energetic I associate with the good bits of summer, like sunshine in early May when it's not yet too hot to exist.
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-23 06:59 pm
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Dear Coronator

Hi, I'm [archiveofourown.org profile] ExtraPenguin. Here's my Coronation Ceremony letter! Likes, DNWs, and prompts beneath the cut.

Read more... )
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-21 05:49 pm

Let the more confused one be me

Shadow work: the reason why you're so exhausted. Essentially, in addition to whatever work one actually does, one is expected to be a cashier, gas station attendant, etc. in this era of tossing customer service responsibilities on the customer.

Stuff that's happened since last update: I have come out to my parents via e-mail. They were ... well, imagine a pair of clueless cishets trying to be supportive.

gender = confusing )

I finished my listen of Battle Beast's discography. Bringer of Pain has a new songwriting team, but the end result is similar (upbeat-ish power metal) and also good. I liked Straight to the Heart, King for a Day, Familiar Hell, and Dancing with the Beast. I have a slightly sore throat, and singing along to all of these probably hasn't helped. :P

Do people enjoy me reccing music to them? Who cares, I've got a Music Monday Meme tag, and everything there is a rec! Also collecting stuffs for next year's Jukebox, bit by bit.

Also, the original torus Earth.
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-17 08:59 pm

Music Monday Meme

2. A song with a number in the title
Epica - The Second Stone
Currently, this song (lyrics) is giving me loads of trans feelings. For all my life, I've tried to act the girl/woman, and tried to drag the gender role with me into the (rather masculine) place where I exist. However, I can no longer bear the myriad small reminders that I do not belong. I can't wrap femininity and womanhood around my shoulders as a protective mantle of rising to the challenge and destroying from my path those who doubt my competence and ability. When I've been accidentally gendered as a man, my heart has leaped. I like the masculinity presented by etiquette manuals, both in manner and in dress. The template for femininity crushes my soul whenever it rears its ugly head.

I choose not to maintain the sweet fiction of I'm-just-an-average-girl. There is a me-shaped strand of masculinity almost in my grasp.
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-10 08:19 pm

Music Monday Meme

1. A song with a color in the title
Schwarze Sonne, E Nomine.
Translation of lyrics into English.
I've no idea what it's "supposed" to be about, but trying to come up with relationships that fit it is an interesting exercise! The best I can come up with is "kid was conceived to bring down sperm donor daddy, is messed-up due to being raised as a weapon", which is certainly an idea that someone somewhere should write.

complete list )
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-07-08 11:10 am

Links and misc

Things I should do: Read more of the Hugos stuff. At least the novellas, gdi. Install Tinder and try to find a date.

Things I have done:

Gone through Seta's site, reading all the stuff. A lot of the Finnish-language terminology is either cringeworthy or actually in English, but there is something to be said for "you exist, you're allowed to exist" being said in Finnish. There's a place for you here. I should probably go attend a meeting or something/get sort of involved with the community, but I am a socially anxious misanthrope. I need backup.

Relatedly, this Tumblr convo on bisexuality and "passing privilege", and how it results in life sucking for bi people even more.

Also, prosthetics as augmentation, rather than replacement.

I went through Battle Beast's third album, Unholy Savior, and in the realm of upbeat power metal, I rec I Want the World … and Everything in It, Far Far Away, and Push it to the Limit.
On a semi-related note, I tend to interpret songs as being all F/F, even if there's a mention of a dude. I Want the World? Totally a thing a woman'd belt to her girlfriend! Covered by Roses? The most femslashy anthem of ever! No, I have no idea where these associations came from. Perhaps just being bored by het + female singer? Ah well.

I have yet to wash my hair since Wednesday (I'll do that this evening) but it seems that the color's already fading slightly just from wear. On the one hand, I knew that with my slippery-smooth, untreated hair, the number of washes I'd get would be 5 at most, rather than the advertised 5 to 10. On the other, I'm a bit sad, since I liked the color. On the gripping hand, I get to do more hair dye experiments soon?
extrapenguin: (honor)
2017-07-05 08:21 pm
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Love my crooked highlights with my crooked heart

I've taken to reading self-improvement stuff lately. The Centre for Clinical Interventions has some self-help information packs/modules. I've been reading through the self-esteem one and finding it insightful in the best way: "Here's some stuff you already sort of knew, except contextualized slightly differently. Also, explanations for why the things you do that help, work, and some additional things that help." In the same vein, The Art of Manliness has a series on resilience that covers a lot of the same stuff, but from a more self-improvement angle. (As a tangent, I prefer the Advice For Men over Advice For Women, since the For Men is more gruff self-improvement, whilst the For Women stuff tends towards the neurotic, and I would rather encourage the gruff I-can-do-this-if-I-try attitude within me than the neurotic this-will-be-hard one.)

One of the things I've learned (via Resiliency, pt III) is that feeling in control – even of a houseplant! – will improve one's life. Now, the hair dye discussion over at the good ol' TGE chatroom had already gotten me in the mood for trying some hair dye, so, a tube of L'Oréal Colorista Washout in Aqua later, my hair has some teal-ish stripes. I am satisfied: I have visibly changed the universe. I have interacted with matter!

As for the actual dyeing procedure, my hair is waist-length and thick. Getting all of it would've required at least 4 tubes of the dye – rather pricey for 5 to 10 washes (tubes are 7.45€ apiece here). I used to have light, golden brown hair, but the last hurrahs of puberty and spending less time in the sun have darkened it to what I would call a flat brown. (Too dark to be liver pâté/maantie, but most of y'all would still probably think I'm a blond.) As a result, the aqua/turquoise pigment is more teal green-looking, but it's still flattering imo. It's also quite subtle in places, though I chose the 20min setting time (as opposed to 15min) after spending half an hour squeezing out the hair dye cream thing.

In other news, I've also started to exercise more regularly. Just yesterday, I intended to run a small path beside a lake, then accidentally ran around the whole lake instead, oops. The scenery was very rewarding, though! Gender remains confusing, but apparently there's a local helpline. I'll call there the next time I'm having a bad evening. My job remains satisfying when there's actual things to do – one of the things the media doesn't tell you about is that an experimental scientist's job is mostly waiting for reactions to occur/things to pump/equipment to cool/measurements to finish/etc. I've also been reading Judith Tarr's SFF Equines series of posts on Tor. It's quite interesting, and reminds me of my horse days.

Also, this says Love your crooked neighbor with your crooked heart. W.H. Auden.
extrapenguin: The famous Earthrise photograph, cropped (moon)
2017-06-30 06:53 pm
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This week, one of my roomie's friends stayed over. She's only just back from a period of student exchange abroad, and her rent contract begins today. (My roomie has been living out of town for summer, so as to be nearer to her summer job. Just me and Friend.)

Apparently, Roomie and Friend are childhood friends who still keep in touch and call each other semiregularly. Perhaps I moved too often to nourish and keep such friendships, but – in a way I like that I could shed my skin and form anew. I was certainly a bit of an oblivious idiot socially back when I was young.

My current batch of friends, I like enough to be friends with. Stay friends after graduation, perhaps – but with the eventual fragmentation of everyone to their more permanent living situations and then kids, I doubt I'll get to hang on to all of them. Like my previous friendships, these too shall whither. Like my previous friendships, these too have given and shall give me fond memories. Have we no love for transience? The cherry blossoms bloom for a week, and then are gone. No-one denies their beauty and the worth of seeing them.

Don't get me wrong, I do currently want to find a locus of stability and do the whole married-forever thing, but even things only experienced once are still worth experiencing.

I like Friend. As I type this, she slips out of my life forever. I am sad, yes, but I liked talking to her. I'll slot the experiences of enjoying her company with the rest of the people lost from me in time's mists.
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-06-25 11:21 pm
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Life on a Young Planet

It's 2004, so probably out of date, but Andrew H. Knoll is good at writing.

Life on a Young Planet is nonfiction about Precambrian life on Earth! It had lots of interesting stuffs about bacteria and other micro-organisms, as well as weird Ediacaran life. The prose was also nice, and it clearly explained a lot of new stuff, like life preferring to use carbon-12, and thus the carbon-12/carbon-13 ratio being a useful measure of life's presence. It also explained shortly some blind alleys of thought, as well as why scientists went there.

All in all, a very intriguing "What" book on an interesting subject, with brief forays into and mentions of "Who", "How", and "Why", to give better texture. It's also given me a few ideas to toy with in origfic.

Additionally, [tumblr.com profile] shiftingpath gave what was maybe the best explanation of the appeal of exploration narratives ever in TGE chat. (Repeated small stories of tension and release in small adventures.) I am toying with it in the aforementioned origfic.
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-06-20 05:58 pm

Ex Scientia, Felicitas

Using Poem Line for Title as a prompt again, I got Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life, from Sarah Williams' The Old Astronomer.

I would not have called myself cold, but one of the things I've noticed since saying "Sayonara, sucker" to my ex is that I've rediscovered my joie de vivre. Life is fun, and happiness is nice. I no longer embrace the misery.

Work is nice. The best feeling ever is when one's been taught to do something new and then one is asked to do it independently without any great fanfare. Trust is the emotion I most like receiving.

Hugos reading has stalled. Oops.
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-06-15 10:31 pm

In honor of payday...

I have bought my first binder from gc2b. It's gray, tank-length, and will be here in 2 to 4 weeks. I used a discount code that's valid until the 23rd.

I am thrilled and terrified. How much longer shall I go "nothing to see here, move along"? (Forever. That's how long.) Will I ever try to make a statement or be a trans or indeed be anything but protective camouflage from society? Why is life so hard.

Also, soon enough it'll be the solstice, and then the nights'll get longer and maybe in July I'll be able to sleep.
extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
2017-06-09 09:25 pm


So, Jukebox author reveals have come and gone. My amazing gift, Trajectory was written by [personal profile] weakinteraction, whom I've been assigned to in a number of recent exchanges. (They have most excellent taste.) The story itself is 7k of science fiction of quality good enough to be in a Best Of anthology, and is ridiculously well tailored to poke at my "science fiction of vaguely thought experiment bent". Like, if you like Greg Egan, you'll probably like this.

Other stuff from the collection that I liked:
Doomed to Repeat, <1k, poetically written and about the cyclic nature of history
The Face In The Jar, <1k, compact and precise, on life after hope's death
Danse Macabre: Five Interviews from the 2013 Tarantella Epidemic, ~2k, hilarious interview-format fic from after the most innovative apocalypse I recall seeing
Saving Isobel, ~7k, a look at a dystopia of sorts where they're literally at war with nature
Or just read it all.

As for what I wrote, well, I wrote 4 things, all between 1k and 2k:

testing out Flamebyrd's Post to DW bookmarklet )
I've also started tagging all my "five-minute fandom" works with Original Works, after authors have been revealed. It's more for internal bookkeeping, but hey, why not?