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But let's start with a PSA: My name is spelled ExtraPenguin, with both the E and P in capitals. All-lowercase variants are sometimes necessary due to limitations in eg URLs, but the proper version is ExtraPenguin. As far as shortened versions/nicknames go, EP and Penguin are fine.

15. A song that is a cover by another artist
Battle Beast - Push it to the Limit
Originally by Paul Engemann, from the soundtrack of Scarface.
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As usual, let's pretend it's Monday. I have a Yuletide assignment I'm digesting. Canon review may be in order, but thankfully next week is light on scheduled stuff.

14. A song that you would love played at your wedding
This is actually hard, since I don't really listen to much wedding-y music/love story happy music. After consideration of many songs (frex Indica - Pidä kädestä (translation), Indica - Täältä pois (translation), Dream Evil - See the Light (lyrics), Battle Beast - I Want the World (lyrics), Nightwish - Alpenglow (lyrics), Within Temptation - Covered by Roses (lyrics), Within Temptation - See Who I Am (lyrics), and the ever-traditional Finnish wedding staple Tehosekoitin - Hetken tie on kevyt (translation)), I came to the conclusion of...

14. A song that you would love played at your wedding
Nightwish - Sagan
Because, well, anyone willing to stick with me for the long haul is going to be a COLOSSAL NERD and also probably some sort of science fan, so. I mean, the song has a friggin' space rocket launch as an effect! It's happy and hopeful, too. Also, "Beware the very first unkind word" is good marriage advice AFAIK.

And I do want someone who'll make me wonder and understand and smile with me when I lift my gaze to the stars.
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13. One of your favorite 70's songs
I don't actually listen to 70s stuff – my favorite subgenres are all produts of the 21st century, so it's rare that I encounter anything amazing that's not recent. However, I have discovered a recs thread for Mad Science music on FFA, so here's a thing from the 80s:
Oingo Boingo - Weird Science

(Also, guess who'll be asking for a F/F interpretation of Skullcrusher Mountain next Jukebox?)
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It's Monday if I say so. Shh.

12. A song from your pre-teen years
Girls Aloud - Something Kinda Ooh

Admittedly, I'm not sure if this is pre-teen per se – might be early teens as well – but I don't recall having an independent taste in music before getting into Girls Aloud. (I also don't recall how I got into them.) I liked the active, bouncy rhythms. Like most music popular with the preteens, it's ... kinda adult, actually. Partying at clubs until 3 am and one-night stands and such are more popular with the 18+ segment than the under-13 one, in my experience. Perhaps some sort of lure of adulthood thing goin on – the real marker of the child/adult transition is going from lusting for adulthood to wistfulness towards childhood.

In other news, Yuletide has a tag set! I went through with the bookmarklet, and now have a list of things I should look at again. I know 5 requests, and might add a 6th one, depending on what I feel. I have some clue about offers, but shall have to read one more book, look at the letters for one fandom, and ponder characters.
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11. A song that you never get tired of
Within Temptation - Faster

It's just so ... idk, uplifting? Enthusiastic? I'm proud of all my scars is a sentiment I want to get behind wholeheartedly. Also, throwing oneself into one's life and enjoying it in the moment.
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10. A song that makes you sad
Sirenia - One by One
The lyrics are about not being able to help someone with their demons, but what the bit that resonates with me is I've been dreaming for far too long/And my dreams all break one by one, which. What if I've been sitting here dreaming, letting doors close all around me, when I should have been doing something more to make those dreams reality? – I recognize that this is mostly a reaction to the inevitable narrowing of the possibility cone that comes with ageing, but, well, what if the doubts are right?

I can only snatch spare moments from the jaws of time. Live. Live. Live.
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9. A song that makes you happy
Delain - Stardust
(Okay, perhaps more satisfied-content-happy than overjoyed-bursting-happy, but I actually prefer content-happy.) I love star and space metaphors. I have no idea WTF is actually going on, but it might be a generation ship perhaps? It'd fit the "left the Earth to die" and "all light in hollow eyes is stardust" bits. And the "bring me the Sun and Moon" and the memories being left behind etc. Hmm, maybe some sort of psychological trouble? Anyway, a potentially interesting plot idea lurks within.
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8. A song about drugs or alcohol
Jenni Vartiainen - Malja ("Grail", "Mug", "Cup" ... the word has a large semantic field.)
(lyrics + translation)
I don't have all that many songs about drugs or alcohol, because, well, "I drank lots of ethanol!" isn't a topic of songs that interests me. This one's in my library due to the fact that it's also about anguish, in a way. And today, this speaks to me and my longing, sorrowful heart.

The breadth of human emotion, from the most ecstatically fleeting heights to the very depths of despair, is a beautiful thing, but I wish only that I could avoid sustained-ish downswings.
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7. A song to drive to
Breaking Benjamin - Blow Me Away
It's reasonably active without being aggressive, so alertness-inducing, and the rhythm's nice. And, after an inevitable post-con crash in sentiment, I require something that tells me that yes, I'll be the one who saves us all.
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6. A song that makes you want to dance
Walk the Moon - Shut Up and Dance With Me (link to a video with a movie dance compilation)
This is also a song that cheers me up immensely. It has even managed to acquire YouTube comments (typically the dreg pits of lost faith in humanity) such as "This is one of the most beautifully crafted music videos I've seen on this site. Every scene matched the beat, rhythm, tone, and mood of the song. This is what makes a great music video."
In slightly related news, I have connected with a local queer in a maybe perhaps romantic way. I'm certainly grinning like an idiot. Let's see what happens.

I also survived Worldcon! I'll be putting up my panel etc notes for each day a week late – ie, I'll start with Wednesday's on next Wednesday, and so on and so forth. I managed to read two and a half books queueing up for stuff: Jussi Katajala's Nollameridiaani ja muita tarinoita (a compilation of shorts, from refreshingly Finnish to refreshingly un-American to utterly intriguing, to my knowledge untranslated but should be worth a check), Emmi Itäranta's Teemestarin kirja (aka Memory of Water; pretty much at the litfic end of what I like reading, but very immersive in worldbuilding and I loved all of the water metaphors), and half of Alastair Reynolds' Pushing Ice (so far, typically Reynoldsianly dark and gloomy like gothic metal, but with an intriguing premise).
Other purchases include O.E. Lönnberg's Langanpäitä (a drabble collection, signed by the author who was also the sales clerk), Shimo Suntila's Tähtiviima (a collection of shorts, set in space probably), Alastair Reynolds' Revenger and Century Rain, Stephen Baxter's Xeelee: An Omnibus (seemingly an omnibus of his Xeelee series), three T-shirts (both the Worldcon 75 ones and the Dublin 2019 one), two necklaces for my LARP-a-woman needs, and a space-related oil painting triptych (expensive but very much worth). Freebies include the souvenir book and Giants at the End of the World: A Showcase of Finnish Weird, ed. Johanna Sinisalo & Toni Jerrman.

Artists whose work I liked include: Hannele Parviala (twitter, example art), Lisa Konrad (official site), John Granacki (official site), Sergey Shikin (interview & example arts), Vitaly Yekleris (I think this is his pinterest and here are some book covers by him, but I can't really be sure), Minna Louhelainen (official site), and Eeva Turkka (twitter, an art).
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5. A song that needs to be played LOUD
Amaranthe - Razorblade
This is the most positive and encouraging song I know. I like to put it on when I'm feeling discouraged – it tends to fix the world. <3

Tomorrow, I go to Worldcon. Other stuff: the egg donation place called me back and I have a mandatory doctor's appointment related to that in a few weeks. Additionally, one of the people I messaged on an internet dating site messaged me back, and we're meeting next Monday. Let's see what happens. <3
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4. A song that reminds you of someone you'd rather forget about
Indica - Sanoja "Words"
It's in Finnish, but the video has a translation in it, and I've added a translation onto LyricsTranslate here. Indica's stuff is very appealing in a good-with-language way, which doesn't translate, but the metaphors should. It's a very minimal, speak-around-a-thing sort of songwriting, but the picture painted is remarkably accurate.

And since that song is more "reminds me of myself back then" than outright "reminds me of a fuckass ex", have a bonus song:
Delain - Suckerpunch
I do not fit in girlfriend-shaped boxes. I refuse to try.
Leave me to my solitude / Where I'm self-defined
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3. A song that reminds you of summer
Amaranthe - Automatic

This one was actually quite hard, as I loathe summer with the passion of a thousand fiery suns (it's too bright! and hot!) but Automatic is the sort of upbeat/energetic I associate with the good bits of summer, like sunshine in early May when it's not yet too hot to exist.
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2. A song with a number in the title
Epica - The Second Stone
Currently, this song (lyrics) is giving me loads of trans feelings. For all my life, I've tried to act the girl/woman, and tried to drag the gender role with me into the (rather masculine) place where I exist. However, I can no longer bear the myriad small reminders that I do not belong. I can't wrap femininity and womanhood around my shoulders as a protective mantle of rising to the challenge and destroying from my path those who doubt my competence and ability. When I've been accidentally gendered as a man, my heart has leaped. I like the masculinity presented by etiquette manuals, both in manner and in dress. The template for femininity crushes my soul whenever it rears its ugly head.

I choose not to maintain the sweet fiction of I'm-just-an-average-girl. There is a me-shaped strand of masculinity almost in my grasp.
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1. A song with a color in the title
Schwarze Sonne, E Nomine.
Translation of lyrics into English.
I've no idea what it's "supposed" to be about, but trying to come up with relationships that fit it is an interesting exercise! The best I can come up with is "kid was conceived to bring down sperm donor daddy, is messed-up due to being raised as a weapon", which is certainly an idea that someone somewhere should write.

complete list )


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