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6. A song that makes you want to dance
Walk the Moon - Shut Up and Dance With Me (link to a video with a movie dance compilation)
lyrics
This is also a song that cheers me up immensely. It has even managed to acquire YouTube comments (typically the dreg pits of lost faith in humanity) such as "This is one of the most beautifully crafted music videos I've seen on this site. Every scene matched the beat, rhythm, tone, and mood of the song. This is what makes a great music video."
In slightly related news, I have connected with a local queer in a maybe perhaps romantic way. I'm certainly grinning like an idiot. Let's see what happens.

I also survived Worldcon! I'll be putting up my panel etc notes for each day a week late – ie, I'll start with Wednesday's on next Wednesday, and so on and so forth. I managed to read two and a half books queueing up for stuff: Jussi Katajala's Nollameridiaani ja muita tarinoita (a compilation of shorts, from refreshingly Finnish to refreshingly un-American to utterly intriguing, to my knowledge untranslated but should be worth a check), Emmi Itäranta's Teemestarin kirja (aka Memory of Water; pretty much at the litfic end of what I like reading, but very immersive in worldbuilding and I loved all of the water metaphors), and half of Alastair Reynolds' Pushing Ice (so far, typically Reynoldsianly dark and gloomy like gothic metal, but with an intriguing premise).
Other purchases include O.E. Lönnberg's Langanpäitä (a drabble collection, signed by the author who was also the sales clerk), Shimo Suntila's Tähtiviima (a collection of shorts, set in space probably), Alastair Reynolds' Revenger and Century Rain, Stephen Baxter's Xeelee: An Omnibus (seemingly an omnibus of his Xeelee series), three T-shirts (both the Worldcon 75 ones and the Dublin 2019 one), two necklaces for my LARP-a-woman needs, and a space-related oil painting triptych (expensive but very much worth). Freebies include the souvenir book and Giants at the End of the World: A Showcase of Finnish Weird, ed. Johanna Sinisalo & Toni Jerrman.

Artists whose work I liked include: Hannele Parviala (twitter, example art), Lisa Konrad (official site), John Granacki (official site), Sergey Shikin (interview & example arts), Vitaly Yekleris (I think this is his pinterest and here are some book covers by him, but I can't really be sure), Minna Louhelainen (official site), and Eeva Turkka (twitter, an art).
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5. A song that needs to be played LOUD
Amaranthe - Razorblade
lyrics
This is the most positive and encouraging song I know. I like to put it on when I'm feeling discouraged – it tends to fix the world. <3

Tomorrow, I go to Worldcon. Other stuff: the egg donation place called me back and I have a mandatory doctor's appointment related to that in a few weeks. Additionally, one of the people I messaged on an internet dating site messaged me back, and we're meeting next Monday. Let's see what happens. <3
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4. A song that reminds you of someone you'd rather forget about
Indica - Sanoja "Words"
It's in Finnish, but the video has a translation in it, and I've added a translation onto LyricsTranslate here. Indica's stuff is very appealing in a good-with-language way, which doesn't translate, but the metaphors should. It's a very minimal, speak-around-a-thing sort of songwriting, but the picture painted is remarkably accurate.

And since that song is more "reminds me of myself back then" than outright "reminds me of a fuckass ex", have a bonus song:
Delain - Suckerpunch
(lyrics)
I do not fit in girlfriend-shaped boxes. I refuse to try.
Leave me to my solitude / Where I'm self-defined
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3. A song that reminds you of summer
Amaranthe - Automatic

This one was actually quite hard, as I loathe summer with the passion of a thousand fiery suns (it's too bright! and hot!) but Automatic is the sort of upbeat/energetic I associate with the good bits of summer, like sunshine in early May when it's not yet too hot to exist.
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2. A song with a number in the title
Epica - The Second Stone
Currently, this song (lyrics) is giving me loads of trans feelings. For all my life, I've tried to act the girl/woman, and tried to drag the gender role with me into the (rather masculine) place where I exist. However, I can no longer bear the myriad small reminders that I do not belong. I can't wrap femininity and womanhood around my shoulders as a protective mantle of rising to the challenge and destroying from my path those who doubt my competence and ability. When I've been accidentally gendered as a man, my heart has leaped. I like the masculinity presented by etiquette manuals, both in manner and in dress. The template for femininity crushes my soul whenever it rears its ugly head.

I choose not to maintain the sweet fiction of I'm-just-an-average-girl. There is a me-shaped strand of masculinity almost in my grasp.
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1. A song with a color in the title
Schwarze Sonne, E Nomine.
Translation of lyrics into English.
I've no idea what it's "supposed" to be about, but trying to come up with relationships that fit it is an interesting exercise! The best I can come up with is "kid was conceived to bring down sperm donor daddy, is messed-up due to being raised as a weapon", which is certainly an idea that someone somewhere should write.

complete list )

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