1. The One in which the Cetagandans are Still Occupying Barrayar
With Miles making bombs (complete with exposition on how to make said bombs, with enough detail to probably get me on several no-fly lists, but it's okay, I got all my info from an Army officer!) and Dag Benin ferrying around very annoying haut-ladies. No plot yet, but Miles accidentally got himself all amneasia'd, and Dag has an annoying brother called Natt. (Because "dag" is the Swedish word for "day", and "natt" is the Swedish word for "night".)
2. The One in which Cetagandan Politics Happen, There Is a Revolution, and It's Written in a Weird Font
“Sorry, Ambassador, I thought I'd stay at the party a bit longer, see if ghem-Lady Rau would hint at anything her husband the Admiral was planning. Didn't work.” Ivan shut his mouth. Hopefully Ambassador Vorob'yev would be in a forgiving mood. Thankfully, Colonel Vorreedi had been replaced since his last visit. Even more importantly, Miles was back on Barrayar.
The Ambassador sighed. “Very well. I suppose you kept up good relations with the local ladyfolk. No, no need to answer, I know you did. To bed with you, Captain, it's late.”
Someone rang the doorbell. Ivan and Vorob'yev froze. The local servant went to see who it was at this late hour. A few minutes later, the servant escorted in a woman.
It was funny how so many fairy tales spoke of raven hair and ivory skin as the epitome of human beauty. Seeings someone who fit the definition in real life, the effect was at most uncanny. Creepy, even.
“My name”, the woman said, “is Lina Benin. You have perhaps heard of my late father, ghem-General Dag Benin. The reason I'm here is to ask for asylum, for I have just killed Fletchir Giaja.”
3. The One That Tries to Connect General Count Piotr Vorkosigan With His Great-Grandson Piotr Selig* Via Literary Device Involving Horses
*Name Since Jossed
At least, I think Piotr Selig was supposed to be Miles' younger son. I've only written some backstory for the elder horse.
4. The One in which Terrorists Attack Cetaganda Which Was Hopefully Going to Acquire a Plot Involving Politics
For some reason, ghem-General Naru seems to have owned pin-up photographs of Simon Illyan in ImpSec garb?
5. The One in which the Barrayaran Feminist Terrorist(?) Movement is Secretly Bankrolled by Cetagandans
Featuring a woman with Asperger's. Also written in Nimbus Roman whatever, which, weird.
6. The One in which Mark is Sick and the Kareen-Mark Good Cop-Bad Cop Routine Has to Become the Kareen-Miles Good Cop-Dadaist Cop Routine
What's wrong with art? Why is this written in Church Latin? What is the meaning of life? Why are your bones so small? Invent an impossible-to-translate language and tell us everything in it!
7. The Bad Attempt at Gregor/Laisa Fluff
Very Bad. Featuring Crown Prince Viktor Vorbarra.
8. The One in which Ivan Tries to Get Laid but can't Get Rid of the Politics
Again in a weird font, but I have apparently used the word "blatherskite"!
9. The One in which a Cetagandan Spy Loses His Forged Documentation and Has to Immigrate to Barrayar Under His Real Identity
...and promptly gets hired as a tour bus speaker.
Day 1 (Monday 15.6.; the local year system is incomprehensible)
Barrayaran Immigration is bloody annoying. They insisted on strip-searching me. Twice. (The second time, I did the whole moan-and-groan-with-pleasure show and embarrassed them out of subsequent attempts.) After that, they wanted to know why I was immigrating. (My parents are assholes, all my peers are substance abusers, and all the people who actually do shit are damn near centenarians. Oh hi, Dal! How's it feel to be twenty?)
I slept under a shelf in the spaceport.
10. Apparently Actually Prompted???
"In London on Old Earth there is still a pond in what was once known as St. James Park where the ducks grow fat and happy on the breadcrumbs fed to them by secret agents meeting their opposite numbers. Preferably Miles/Dag, but any positive relationship is fine."
11. The One in which OCs Aleksei and Filippa Must Find a Horse For the Crown Prince
Hey, this one seems nice! I'll have to rework nearly everything, but !!!
“The Crown Prince wants a riding lesson”, she said. Her accent was now exactly in between those of Vorkosigan's District, Vorhalas' District, and Vorbarr Sultana. She didn't even attempt Newscaster Neutral.
“Yes”, Aleksei confirmed. “The Empress suggested a nice, small pony. The Emperor said the Prince should learn to ride a variety of horses. The Prince said he wanted a pretty one.”
12. The One in which Alys and Simon do Sexy Roleplay in the Orb
For the 2015 Bujold Fest!
“The Beginner's Guide to Roleplaying. Consensual Sex for Barrayaran Beginners.” Simon raised an eyebrow at the title. “The Basics of Using Toys to Enhance Pleasure. The Elements of Sexual Bondage. Dominance, Submission, and the Basics of D/s. Introduction to Sadism, Masochism, and Arousal. And the sexual help line's comconsole code. Well, milady, where should we start?”
13. The One in which Kou and Drou Have Sex
"Well, you could write something very funny that resembled the IKEA assembly manual, possibly involving Kou and Drou having another go at things with the aid of a Useful Book From Beta given to them by Cordelia (perhaps Kou's pride leads him to start at the 'advanced' section and it all goes hilariously wrong until they go back to the beginning?)."