extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
From the depths of time, some wild WIPs appear once more. Vorkosigan edition.

1. The One in which the Cetagandans are Still Occupying Barrayar
With Miles making bombs (complete with exposition on how to make said bombs, with enough detail to probably get me on several no-fly lists, but it's okay, I got all my info from an Army officer!) and Dag Benin ferrying around very annoying haut-ladies. No plot yet, but Miles accidentally got himself all amneasia'd, and Dag has an annoying brother called Natt. (Because "dag" is the Swedish word for "day", and "natt" is the Swedish word for "night".)

2. The One in which Cetagandan Politics Happen, There Is a Revolution, and It's Written in a Weird Font
The haut have always liked their ghem underlings a tad incompetent

“Sorry, Ambassador, I thought I'd stay at the party a bit longer, see if ghem-Lady Rau would hint at anything her husband the Admiral was planning. Didn't work.” Ivan shut his mouth. Hopefully Ambassador Vorob'yev would be in a forgiving mood. Thankfully, Colonel Vorreedi had been replaced since his last visit. Even more importantly, Miles was back on Barrayar.

The Ambassador sighed. “Very well. I suppose you kept up good relations with the local ladyfolk. No, no need to answer, I know you did. To bed with you, Captain, it's late.”

Ivan agreed.

Someone rang the doorbell. Ivan and Vorob'yev froze. The local servant went to see who it was at this late hour. A few minutes later, the servant escorted in a woman.

It was funny how so many fairy tales spoke of raven hair and ivory skin as the epitome of human beauty. Seeings someone who fit the definition in real life, the effect was at most uncanny. Creepy, even.

“My name”, the woman said, “is Lina Benin. You have perhaps heard of my late father, ghem-General Dag Benin. The reason I'm here is to ask for asylum, for I have just killed Fletchir Giaja.”

3. The One That Tries to Connect General Count Piotr Vorkosigan With His Great-Grandson Piotr Selig* Via Literary Device Involving Horses
*Name Since Jossed
At least, I think Piotr Selig was supposed to be Miles' younger son. I've only written some backstory for the elder horse.

4. The One in which Terrorists Attack Cetaganda Which Was Hopefully Going to Acquire a Plot Involving Politics

For some reason, ghem-General Naru seems to have owned pin-up photographs of Simon Illyan in ImpSec garb?

5. The One in which the Barrayaran Feminist Terrorist(?) Movement is Secretly Bankrolled by Cetagandans
Featuring a woman with Asperger's. Also written in Nimbus Roman whatever, which, weird.

6. The One in which Mark is Sick and the Kareen-Mark Good Cop-Bad Cop Routine Has to Become the Kareen-Miles Good Cop-Dadaist Cop Routine

What's wrong with art? Why is this written in Church Latin? What is the meaning of life? Why are your bones so small? Invent an impossible-to-translate language and tell us everything in it!

7. The Bad Attempt at Gregor/Laisa Fluff
Very Bad. Featuring Crown Prince Viktor Vorbarra.

8. The One in which Ivan Tries to Get Laid but can't Get Rid of the Politics
Again in a weird font, but I have apparently used the word "blatherskite"!

9. The One in which a Cetagandan Spy Loses His Forged Documentation and Has to Immigrate to Barrayar Under His Real Identity
...and promptly gets hired as a tour bus speaker.

Day 1 (Monday 15.6.; the local year system is incomprehensible)
Barrayaran Immigration is bloody annoying. They insisted on strip-searching me. Twice. (The second time, I did the whole moan-and-groan-with-pleasure show and embarrassed them out of subsequent attempts.) After that, they wanted to know why I was immigrating. (My parents are assholes, all my peers are substance abusers, and all the people who actually do shit are damn near centenarians. Oh hi, Dal! How's it feel to be twenty?)
I slept under a shelf in the spaceport.

10. Apparently Actually Prompted???
"In London on Old Earth there is still a pond in what was once known as St. James Park where the ducks grow fat and happy on the breadcrumbs fed to them by secret agents meeting their opposite numbers. Preferably Miles/Dag, but any positive relationship is fine."

11. The One in which OCs Aleksei and Filippa Must Find a Horse For the Crown Prince

Hey, this one seems nice! I'll have to rework nearly everything, but !!!

“The Crown Prince wants a riding lesson”, she said. Her accent was now exactly in between those of Vorkosigan's District, Vorhalas' District, and Vorbarr Sultana. She didn't even attempt Newscaster Neutral.
Yes”, Aleksei confirmed. “The Empress suggested a nice, small pony. The Emperor said the Prince should learn to ride a variety of horses. The Prince said he wanted a pretty one.”

12. The One in which Alys and Simon do Sexy Roleplay in the Orb
For the 2015 Bujold Fest!

“The Beginner's Guide to Roleplaying. Consensual Sex for Barrayaran Beginners.” Simon raised an eyebrow at the title. “The Basics of Using Toys to Enhance Pleasure. The Elements of Sexual Bondage. Dominance, Submission, and the Basics of D/s. Introduction to Sadism, Masochism, and Arousal. And the sexual help line's comconsole code. Well, milady, where should we start?”

13. The One in which Kou and Drou Have Sex
"Well, you could write something very funny that resembled the IKEA assembly manual, possibly involving Kou and Drou having another go at things with the aid of a Useful Book From Beta given to them by Cordelia (perhaps Kou's pride leads him to start at the 'advanced' section and it all goes hilariously wrong until they go back to the beginning?)."

extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
So, my dear readership of 0.4 people, I have apparently taken on too much on my plate, and I really should focus on things like "university" and some other real-life commitments. I'll probably come back somewhat during summer (the whole "free time" thing).

Have the AU: Cop/Detective WIP in its entirety:

And here's a previous version:


From the  )

extrapenguin: Photo of horse's head (Default)
As someone who generally only has one WIP at a time, this was rather hard. Nevertheless, I started some fics that I really should write, so here are sections from all of them. Also, if anyone has any ideas for my Trope Bingo's Accidental Baby Acquisition square, I'll take them.

The Cop/Detective AU Square (Vorkosigan)

“He was lying in a pool of his own blood. Didn't you feel any concern?”

“Oh, neurotypical people do weird shit all the time for opaque reasons they find perfectly obvious. I assumed Jones was doing something like that.”

The Wild Card, i.e. Sex Pollen square (Honorverse)

“I didn't know you were a flower person, Tom”, Denis LePic said as he barged into Thomas Theisman's office as part of his daily routine of making sure Theisman actually left the premises.

Theisman rolled his eyes. “They were left by some advocacy group or other. Eloise had some minion bring them over to my office to ‘brighten the mood’ or something to that effect.”

“She's hoping you get hay fever and go home to sleep.” Denis smirked and leaned over to sniff one of the flowers on Theisman's desk. “These smell nice”, he said. “Try it.”

The flower was large and purple, reminding Theisman of an Old Earth sunflower, except smaller. Its leaves were smooth and shiny. It smelled sweet and earthy, like the tea that some Legislaturalist officers had drunk often. Denis was nibbling on his ear.

Unrelated Vorparadijs Casefic (Vorkosigan)

Filippa Cherenkova looked at him with an expression that was easily interpreted as “you do realize that what you said right there was FUCKING INSANE”.

ImpSec Lieutenant Aleksei Kostolitz, Imperial Liaison Officer (or whatever his superiors had decided to call his position today), decided that the best course of action was to repeat what he had said.

“The Emperor would like for us to assist Imperial Auditor Vorparadijs in his investigation of the incidents in Vorcault District. Countess Vorcault and the Count's aunt, Lady Irina, have been stabbed to death. After the tragic murder of the Count's favorite horse, he called on the Emperor to help solve this politically motivated crime.”

“So, nobody cares about the women, but the moment a horse kicks it, it's boohoo Sire please help?” Filippa was somewhere between disbelief and “oh really”.

Aleksei nodded.

Thoughts? Sacrificial offerings? Critique?


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