1) Jane Ward's essay is fascinating, especially the bit about 19th C Iran. But then I think about The Tale of Genji, and The Dream of the Red Chamber--both works from HIGHLY patriarchal cultures, centering on male characters and the women they love, with male-male friendships a distant second. These male characters are heterosexual, or so it appears.
But they also spend much of their lives inside spaces (houses, palaces) with more women than men, they don't work in traditionally male-dominated spaces like the military.
As a bi woman married to a man, I see a lot of gender essentialism in these posts. My answer to "why a man when there are woman?" has a lot to do with "they're not that different!" Men, women, and people who are neither can all be beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, kind, and all the other attractive qualities.
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But they also spend much of their lives inside spaces (houses, palaces) with more women than men, they don't work in traditionally male-dominated spaces like the military.
As a bi woman married to a man, I see a lot of gender essentialism in these posts. My answer to "why a man when there are woman?" has a lot to do with "they're not that different!" Men, women, and people who are neither can all be beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, kind, and all the other attractive qualities.