Terrible ideas must be shared + meme

[extrapenguin]

Concept: Lan Wangji has a mommy kink. It's pretty much canon that one of the reasons he fell for Wei Wuxian was that Wei Wuxian would tease him just like his mom did, right? So, Lan Wangji calling Wei Wuxian "mama", Wei Wuxian failing at roleplay by asking after Lan Wangji's grades? Lan Wangji happily sitting in front of Wei Wuxian's door, gets invited in to be teased and pulled into Wei Wuxian's lap? Lan Wangji occasionally suckles at Wei Wuxian's nipple (this idea also explains why the nsfw fanarts have so much nipple action!) while his hair is being caressed, lots of gentle hugs and kisses and head-patting ... and occasionally Lan Wangji simply must have "mama", thus sex. At this point ectocosme informed me I should just call myself ExtraDevil instead. :P

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Now, after that, we need a meme to put it all behind us. Put "top 5" anything in the comments and I will answer! Feel free to be as general (fandoms, months, whatever) or specific (kinks for ship A/B, characterization takes for character X, etc) as you please.

Meme provided by journalmemes.

Comments

[naye]

Top 5: favorite dishes?

[extrapenguin]

I was about to despair about plate manufacturers not having websites for EU, but then I remembered that in English, "dishes" refers to the food. A list!

1. Beijing duck
2. Roast duck with french fries
3. Chicken in chili garlic sauce
4. Sizzling beef/duck with garlic sauce
5. Beef with black bean sauce

...huh. I suppose it's no big surprise that my favorite restaurants tend to be the Chinese kind. *g* Aaand now I'm hungry, dammit.

(And just in case you wanted recs for serving dishes: I use Corelle Livingware(?) ones, which are lightweight and pretty durable! I am a heretic who isn't into most of Iittala and Arabia's stuff at all, though Iittala's Teema series has some nice mugs, frex, I own some blue Kastehelmi plates (color since discontinued...), and I like the Ultima Thule glasses, if nothing else from the collection.)

[maggie33]

Top 5 Ye Zun scenes in Guardian

[extrapenguin]

Here goes!

1. The scene in ep 40 where he falls to his knees and sorts things out with his gege, as immortalized in my icon.
2. The scene in ep 33 where he tries to impersonate his brother, and somehow decides the best way to do this is to dress up as Sexy Shen Wei (complete with missing shirt) and flirt with Zhao Yunlan. Dude, please chill. :D
3. The scene in ep 34 in the past, where bb Shen Wei and bb Ye Zun have a confrontation just before "Kunlun" gets sucked up by the wormhole. (He's so endearing when he goes on about how he's been wronged! Also, this gif.)
4. The scene in ... ep 39? when he tries to dark energy the Guardian Lantern but gets hit with a bullet to the forehead instead and his mask cracks.
5. The scene where Ye Zun is just about to get out of his pillar due to the Merit Brush and he's holding a dramatic monologue at the base of the pillar, complete with minions who chant creepily!

[chromemuffin]

Let's do something fun...

Top 5 favorite words (in any language)!

[sewn]

Top 5 teas (varieties, styles of serving, interpret as you will)?

[extrapenguin]

You will soon discover that my esthetic preferences are simple. :P

1. kitka (Fi "friction")
2. katkera (Fi "bitter (of a person)")
3. kotka (Fi "eagle")
4. kirja (Fi "book")
5. kartta (Fi "map")

...sorry. I just like Finnish ok?

[extrapenguin]

(I really need a tea icon!)

• Yunnan black teas! They're divine.
• Japanese Bancha green tea. Technically lower grade than Senchas, but I prefer the taste.
• Lushan Yunwu green tea.
• Fengqing Dragon Pearl black tea (technically cheating, as it's from Yunnan, but whatever)
• Jin Jun Mei pu'erh.

I go for looseleaf, always, and prefer teas with a presence.

[ehyde]

Yunnan black teas are my favorite black teas, too!

[ehyde]

top 5 magical creatures, specifically as used in human/magical creature ship aus? (am I getting too specific here? this type of au has been on my mind)

[maggie33]

Ahhh, that gif is beautiful. I stared at it for at least 5 minutes. :)

All your favorite scene are very good scenes. I especially love that one in ep 33 when Ye Zun pretends to be Shen Wei. The way he says ‘Yunlan’ and then he doesn’t berate Zhao Yunlan for touching the Hallows again. That alone should be enough for Zhao Yunlan to guess that this is not Shen Wei. :DDD

[extrapenguin]

Nope, not too specific! :D

Hm, my favorite take on the human/magical creature thing is that the magical creature is a shapeshifter, and they fall in love in human form, and the "crisis" at the end is whether the human can love the creature once it reveals its nonhuman form. (Spoilers: yes.) For that type of story, my favorite magical creatures are:

1. Chinese dragons in their snake-like form (with bonus "Wait you're a rain god??")
2. Naga
3. ...eldritch abominations à la Cthulhu? Lovecraft counts as mythology, surely?
4. From Finnish mythology, the väki of eg the forest, the waters, or death – basically they're micro-tutelary deities/spirits in charge of eg cleaning up the forest or allocating fish to the fisherman's nets if offered to well enough, and on the other hand the folk who would lure people into the forest to get lost, or curse people with madness should they treat the lake improperly. Alas, there's not much available about them in English.
5. The Xuanwu in its tortoise-snake incarnation.

Hm, apparently I don't find furry critters sexy enough. Must be a reptile or humanoid! I'm also 1000% bored of vampires and werewolves and the Anglo conception of fae, and would like a greater diversity of magical critters.

[extrapenguin]

The way he says ‘Yunlan’
Actually, he even says "xiao-Yunlan" i.e. "little Yunlan" as a nickname! (And flubs it, since Shen Wei would say "Ah Lan", i.e. form a different nickname.) Ye Zun in general isn't that good at impersonating his brother, even as the Black-Cloaked Envoy.

There are also some adorable behind the scenes gifs of Bai Yu yoinking at Zhu Yilong's Ye Zun wig. gif one, gif two. (Zhu Yilong is saying "Stop, if I smile, my mask will fall off.") I now want Zhao Yunlan yanking at Ye Zun's hair.

[extrapenguin]

They are so very lovely! Do you have a favorite tea plantation/experiences on different places' different Yunnan black tease?

[ehyde]

I get most of my tea from a local importer that has a nice, friendly tasting room (it was a short walk from our old apartment, alas, it's no longer within easy walking distance), and my favorite Yunnan that they sell is ,this one. Don't know the name of the estate it's from, though.

[ehyde]

Cosmic horror absolutely counts!

I had never heard of väki--yeah, there doesn't seem to be much information in English, but what there is looks interesting.

I never thought too hard about it, but I suppose I'm not that into furred creatures either. I'm definitely partial to birds.

[extrapenguin]

there doesn't seem to be much information in English, but what there is looks interesting.
Hm, I have Risto Pulkkinen's Suomalainen kansanusko ("Finnish folk mythos") lying around here somewhere; I might as well summarize & translate into English sometime the next week(s). There's not that much available in Finnish, either, as "popular mythology" texts – Christianity did a number on local pagan beliefs, and Finnish mythology isn't considered as "sexy" here as other places' is.

Birds are also nice! I think #6 on the list would've been the Swan of Tuonela, the whooper swan who swims in the dark river that separates the lands of the dead and the living. (Swans are one of the sacred animals, and killing them is taboo.)

[maggie33]

Yep, I saw those gifs. They are super adorable. :D

[trobadora]

Haha, yeah, he's so bad at impersonating Shen Wei. :D

The bit where he actually calls him "my Xiao-Yunlan" to Wang Zheng and Sang Zan, as if that was a thing that would ever come out of Shen Wei's mouth, cracks me up every time.

[extrapenguin]

It's like he understood that Shen Wei loves Zhao Yunlan, then did his best approximation of what normal people in love do, and failed hilariously. (Though now I want fic where Zhao Yunlan decides to troll Shen Wei by going "You never call me anything affectionate enough! We're married, but you only call me Chief Zhao. Even your brother called me his xiao-Yunlan!" and basically lording the incident over both Shen Wei and Ye Zun for the rest of eternity.)

[naye]

Mmmmmm, your list of foods is making me hungry... And thank you for the serving dish recommendations!

[floating_hell]

You call this a terrible idea, but I think it's a like a belated Christmas gift I didn't know I was going to find lol.

[extrapenguin]

Whatever works for you! :D A bunch of people found it disturbing, for some reason. Favorite aspect of the idea?

[floating_hell]

I'm such a sucker for emotional vulnerability from characters who always act like they don't need/have emotions, it's all about logic!! Of course we know that Lan Zhan has a LOT of feelings, but I'd love to see his reaction to be spoiled like a favorite child.

[extrapenguin]

Yes!!! Emotionally vulnerable Lan Wangji is very good. While being spoiled, I imagine his expression wouldn't change much, but the invisible dog's tail would wag frantically. Or perhaps he'd regress enough into childhood that his mask would be less impermeable, and he might actually smile? Hmm. Interesting! Someone else should write it. :P

[floating_hell]

Oh my god I'm so tempted lol. This headcanon is so intriguing!

[extrapenguin]

Please do! (I am the little shoulder demon who urges people on, not the shoulder angel who talks them out of dumb ideas.) I'm sure it'd be interesting, and at least a slightly novel take on the relationship. Plus if you write it, I don't have to!

[floating_hell]

Would you be okay with that? Of course I'll credit the idea to you. I can't guarantee I'd be able to get to it soon (work + school + job hunt + major move) but hot damn am I interested.

[extrapenguin]

Go ahead! It's not like I'd be quicker at getting to it (work + huge WIP I wanna complete first). Good luck with the job hunt and move – I just finished one of those, and they suck.

[floating_hell]

Thank you so much!! And congrats on navigating the major life change - that's stressful as hell!