perhaps I need to sleep more

[extrapenguin]

I should be doing something completely different, but instead I came up with the Worst Possible Guardian Yuletide request. Behold!

Characters: Any
DNW: h/c, romance, M/M relationships, BAMF Shen Wei, competent Zhao Yunlan, characters emoting
"I loved the ending, so please don't have Dixing and Haixing be reconnected in your fic or bring any of the dead characters back! I also really enjoyed the unpublished ending where Zhao Yunlan becomes a schoolteacher in Dixing and meets the reincarnated Shen Wei and Ye Zun (I can't believe they axed it!) so I'd love to get something based on that. Maybe some bedsharing between Zhao Yunlan and his smol pupil's brother Ye Zun? Must have: underage, incest, netorare. You can genderswap the twins if you want to get some (pre)teen pregnancy going on. ;)"

...my sense of humor is screwy, yes. What do you mean, other people don't spend their waiting-for-assignments time crafting the most loltastically squick-and-screaming-inducing hypothetical sign-ups they can imagine? :P

(I also have some more serious posts to write, about my feelings on endings and perhaps some whining about MDZS, but I'm going to have tea and write a Yuletide treat for someone whose letter was infinitely more to my tastes than the above hypothetical.)

Comments

[clevermanka]

I can't believe I read that with my own eyes. *shudder* Also I have no idea what netorare is and (from the context) I don't think I want to.

[extrapenguin]

I can't believe I read that with my own eyes. *shudder*
>:D Success! /evil

(Netorare is the Japanese for cuckolding. You're welcome.)

[clevermanka]

Oh. Okay, that could've been a LOT worse. I guess?

[extrapenguin]

...I'm now feeling the urge to edit the post and add noncon bukakke or something in. Or scat kink, that is generally a huge squick for everyone.

[phyrry]

My days as an exchange hipster are certainly coming to a middle. ;)

[trobadora]

DO NOT JINX US OMG.

[extrapenguin]

Think of it this way: at least nothing you'll get will be as bad as this! :D

[extrapenguin]

Indeed they are! Continue your merry ways, you lovely goose.

[jo_lasalle]

What do you mean, other people don't spend their waiting-for-assignments time crafting the most loltastically squick-and-screaming-inducing hypothetical sign-ups they can imagine?

If I ever feel again like I'm not handling Yuletide well... >_>

(MY EYES MY EYES)

[extrapenguin]

>:D *giggles with sadistic glee*

(But if you set your expectations low enough, they will always be exceeded?)

[lannamichaels]

...half of me is whispering "challenge accepted". The other half suddenly feels a lot better about a specific letter in fandom I decided to keep in my signup anyway.

[lannamichaels]

Ah, not as bad as I figured! I was wondering if it was like guro.

[extrapenguin]

Ha! I'm glad you're feeling better about something. And yeah, it is a bit "challenge accepted", though I'd probably just recite the mantra of ODAO and write Zhu Hong's lesbian orgy with all the nominated female characters.

[lannamichaels]

*deep breath* OKAY SO here's how I'd make it work:

If the recip loves the ending and wants to keep it, great, that means ZYL's dead or body otherwise not working, ergo he's also reincarnated. And if the twins are reincarnated as girls, then so's ZYL, fair's fair. And so's all the guys. It's okay, Zhu Hong is now a boy, I'm all for equality. One boy and one ghost boy per tv show is all we need anyway. This also solves the DNW of m/m.

ZYL is a teacher at the school? Easy. They're all slum kids and the school is very casual, ZYL got some education from somewhere (maybe ZYL is from Haixing and ran away from home after her mom died and tripped and fell through a portal, so she's teaching the Dixing kids some Haixing stuff, and they're teaching her Dixing things).

Bed sharing? There aren't all that many beds, of course they're sharing. Underage, I'd exploit "what even is underage" issues because of different ages in different countries; I could have them all be 17 and tag it underage despite that not being underage in other places.

Preteen pregnancy I cannot do with the Haixing or Dixing characters, but I'm willing to have them worry over Da Qing who, being a cat, is working with cat ages for when it's appropriate to be pregnant.

No one is BAMF and no one is ultracompetent because they're all teenage street kids who are still figuring out the world and, for the Dixing kids, their powers. They're more likely to put on RENT than Hamilton. No h/c because they manage to keep things at an even keel somehow in terms of terrible things, and no romance because it's not like ZYL knows more romance than "sharing lollipops" or Shen Wei knows more romance than "dying for you".

Cuckolding, well, Ye Zun's got some jealousy issues. It's good to work through them, because it's never too late to learn that sharing is caring.

[extrapenguin]

*claps* Bravo! You have almost made it work in a way entirely unlike what the recip likely intended. :P (And FWIW, AO3's policy for Underage is that 17-year-olds have to be tagged with Underage.)

One boy and one ghost boy per tv show is all we need anyway.
Co-signed.

[clevermanka]

You're a wizard.

[lannamichaels]

The thing is, I'm like this with prompts I want to fill, too. ;)

[clevermanka]

A benevolent wizard.

[krait]

Ahahaha... but somewhere out there, there's someone thinking, "I would read that." :D The great joy of fandom is that there's an audience for anything!

(I always have to spend a minute sorting out netorare from ahegao when either one comes up, because my brain has apparently filed them both under "Japanese words for kinks that aren't mine" instead of under their definitions. NTR as the cure for jealousy issues cracks me up, though! Wonder if anyone's ever written that...)

[extrapenguin]

Ahahaha... but somewhere out there, there's someone thinking, "I would read that." :D The great joy of fandom is that there's an audience for anything!
I mean, yes, but I intentionally wrote it to cause the maximum amount of hives for what I know of the fandom. :P