ExtraPenguin

This is so neat, thank you for posting! Fascinating to read the various versions and see, as you point out, what works and what doesn't. Oh dear, one day I will sit down and study Finnish. I wonder if part of the reason the Finnish works better is that you can encode more information in a single word, thanks to all those cases etc.? Please feel free to post more any time, I'll eat it up.
(Also "the He is wide" is driving me nuts. How is that not just "the river is wide"?)