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Things Watched
14 Jun 2020 17:56I've been watching films (and TV) online with friends, and figured I should put some sort of post on them. In order I remember them:
Tomb Raider & sequel (Angelina Jolie movies): I only caught the final confrontation of the first film and then the sequel. Conclusion is that Lara Croft needs to buy a sports bra, everyone needs to be less melodramatic and stupid, and they need to stop destroying the archaeological shit!!!
Prometheus & Alien: Covenant: Dumb people make stupid choices and play idiot ball until they die. Particularly egregious in Prometheus, where all the scientists were inexplicably shit at science. Don't touch the aliens! Don't take off your fucking helmet! Has no-one here heard of decontamination procedures? Alien: Covenant worked a little better in this regard, but in Prometheus, the chief source of horror was how bad the scientists were at their jobs. Also, in Prometheus they said the atmospheric temperature was 2K, which is laughable, because at 2K the atmosphere would be frozen solid on the ground. Given that they have gaseous CO2, assuming the atmospheric pressure is similar to Earth's, the temperature is at least 194.7K, which is a balmy -78.5°C.
Megamind: Enjoyable and touching. It's a fond romp/subversion of a bunch of clichés, which means presence of clichés, but it was nice.
Penguins (idk, some sort of Madagascar sequel? the one with the penguin de-cutesifier thingy): Very cracky, and while I was left in a constant state of "wtf did I just watch", I can say that I enjoyed it. The science was about as accurate as that of Prometheus.
Secret of the Hot Springs: a movie that was a comedy, a horror film, a touching family story, and committed 100% to all of it in turn. Also, canon(ish?) M/M/M OT3! Surprisingly heartfelt and very much into OT3 tropes. Would recommend.
Nezha: Oh my god this was calculated to poke at all my buttons. Li Jing and Lady Yin are such good parents for Nezha! All the family feels! Nezha realizing he can be something other than the force for destruction he was fated to be! And Ao Bing is a complete woobie. I want him to get parented by Li Jing and Lady Yin, too, and get to play shuttlecock. (And for Nezha to take off the hoop from his neck and put it on his wrist instead. Let him be the same height as Ao Bing! Then maybe some hand holding and horn touching?) Also smol bb noodle Ao Bing. Just ... all the family glurge, please.
The Witcher: I've watched two random episodes. (The last one and the one with the harm to a baby?) Queen Callanthea was hot. Also, this show is very focused on boobs. Several characters have boob windows and the camera enjoyed staring, as did I.
Tomb Raider & sequel (Angelina Jolie movies): I only caught the final confrontation of the first film and then the sequel. Conclusion is that Lara Croft needs to buy a sports bra, everyone needs to be less melodramatic and stupid, and they need to stop destroying the archaeological shit!!!
Prometheus & Alien: Covenant: Dumb people make stupid choices and play idiot ball until they die. Particularly egregious in Prometheus, where all the scientists were inexplicably shit at science. Don't touch the aliens! Don't take off your fucking helmet! Has no-one here heard of decontamination procedures? Alien: Covenant worked a little better in this regard, but in Prometheus, the chief source of horror was how bad the scientists were at their jobs. Also, in Prometheus they said the atmospheric temperature was 2K, which is laughable, because at 2K the atmosphere would be frozen solid on the ground. Given that they have gaseous CO2, assuming the atmospheric pressure is similar to Earth's, the temperature is at least 194.7K, which is a balmy -78.5°C.
Megamind: Enjoyable and touching. It's a fond romp/subversion of a bunch of clichés, which means presence of clichés, but it was nice.
Penguins (idk, some sort of Madagascar sequel? the one with the penguin de-cutesifier thingy): Very cracky, and while I was left in a constant state of "wtf did I just watch", I can say that I enjoyed it. The science was about as accurate as that of Prometheus.
Secret of the Hot Springs: a movie that was a comedy, a horror film, a touching family story, and committed 100% to all of it in turn. Also, canon(ish?) M/M/M OT3! Surprisingly heartfelt and very much into OT3 tropes. Would recommend.
Nezha: Oh my god this was calculated to poke at all my buttons. Li Jing and Lady Yin are such good parents for Nezha! All the family feels! Nezha realizing he can be something other than the force for destruction he was fated to be! And Ao Bing is a complete woobie. I want him to get parented by Li Jing and Lady Yin, too, and get to play shuttlecock. (And for Nezha to take off the hoop from his neck and put it on his wrist instead. Let him be the same height as Ao Bing! Then maybe some hand holding and horn touching?) Also smol bb noodle Ao Bing. Just ... all the family glurge, please.
The Witcher: I've watched two random episodes. (The last one and the one with the harm to a baby?) Queen Callanthea was hot. Also, this show is very focused on boobs. Several characters have boob windows and the camera enjoyed staring, as did I.