extrapenguin

2. A song with a number in the title
Epica - The Second Stone
Currently, this song (lyrics) is giving me loads of trans feelings. For all my life, I've tried to act the girl/woman, and tried to drag the gender role with me into the (rather masculine) place where I exist. However, I can no longer bear the myriad small reminders that I do not belong. I can't wrap femininity and womanhood around my shoulders as a protective mantle of rising to the challenge and destroying from my path those who doubt my competence and ability. When I've been accidentally gendered as a man, my heart has leaped. I like the masculinity presented by etiquette manuals, both in manner and in dress. The template for femininity crushes my soul whenever it rears its ugly head.

I choose not to maintain the sweet fiction of I'm-just-an-average-girl. There is a me-shaped strand of masculinity almost in my grasp.