Dear Yoda

[extrapenguin]

Dear smut-wars-exchange creator,

this is my letter! (AO3 link for passersby)

Navigation:
Likes
DNWs
Takes on fandom dividing lines
Adventure Experience Prompts
Requested ships

Likes

• Same-sex relationships, especially F/F.
• Narratives of reconstruction: fixing something, whether that be a country, a piece of equipment, a relationship, or a person.
• Journeys of discovery, whether the discoverers be the characters or the reader.
• Redemption arcs. Rehabilitative justice.
• Narratives where something happens; plot. External conflicts. Casefic. Action/adventure.
• Comedy of Errors -type things.
• [record scratch SFX] So You're Probably Wondering How I Got Into This Situation: the fic
• Madcap adventure
• Crack taken seriously.
• Untitled Goose Game crossovers of the type where the goose comes to visit the canon.
• Alien settings: Dyson spheres, ringworlds, planets tidally locked to their red dwarf stars, artificial habitats on otherwise inhospitable planets, planets with large axial tilts, planets that are actually moons of gas giants, etc.
• Engineering, especially of the sort that keeps civilization running – sewage, maintenance, transport etc – plus infrastructure design stuff.
• Failure analysis/unraveling the causes of catastrophe, e.g. "why did the plane crash?" (yes, I like Mayday and Admiral Cloudberg)
• Characters expressing caring for each other by feeding each other/giving each other tea.
• Good mentor figures/teachers who have their students' best interests at heart and succeed.
• Class issues and other tensions between origins and current presentation.
• Worldbuilding!
• Weird physics.
• Tea.
• Competence porn.
• Enthusiasm in general.
• Xenobiology, aliens, very alien aliens.
• Loyalty, loyalty kink, people loyal way past the point of reasonableness.
• Loving descriptions of small details/of how systems run; insertion of Shown Their Work details.
• Happy endings.

DNW

• Setting change AUs (eg: Hogwarts AU, Coffee Shop AU)
• Christianity, mentions of "sinning".
• Humiliation, especially public.
• Unrequested incest, including foster/adopted and master/padawan relationships.
• Motherhood (childcare etc) as a woman's sole or main motivation or purpose.
• Unrequested het between humans or humanoid creatures. (Dolphins are fine, spiders are fine, people having parents is fine, the fabric of society being canonical and het-enabling is fine. Bit part OCs in het relationships are also fine.)
• PIV sex.
• Requested characters being presented as/rendered utterly helpless; the "damsel in distress" trope; woobiefication.
• Stories about mourning unwelcome changes to/realizations about the body, with "body" defined broadly, (ex: acquiring a disability, infertility, weight gain) and the associated grief/angst.
• Stories about mourning a dead person.
• Requested characters dying.
• Stories where the characters have never loved or could never love anyone but each other, incl. soulmates, demisexuality, single-target sexuality, etc. (Exception: soulmate-bestowing geese/geese bullying characters into getting together with someone is okay.)
• Alternate character origin story AUs (e.g. always a Jedi Maul, never a Jedi/slave Anakin, etc)

DNW clarifications:

• If you want to write an Anakin ship, you can pretend he and Padmé never got together, have them break up offscreen pre-fic, or just have her be Senator Not Mentioned In This Fic
• Anakin's missing hand: can be missing, the prosthetic can be mentioned, just don't write me wangst about how sad he is about missing it
• Maul's missing lower half: give him a functional prosthetic, have him regrow his legs with an experimental treatment or something, AU the way Obi-Wan defeated him, or just have him use the Dark Side to glue his lower half back on; again, no angst, only murder porn

Takes on fandom controversies etc

Or, Which side of the wank is ExtraPenguin on?

Jedi: The Jedi are amazing and 100% correct. I love their philosophy of non-attachment and the vague Buddhist flavor of their philosophy. Please ignore everything about Jedi Apprentice (like the AgriCorps and initiates "aging out" at 13)

Mandalorians: Extremely overrated. The New Mandalorians (Satine etc) are okay. Everyone else sucks.

The clones: Certified NOT Mandalorian.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Not the biggest woobie ever. Please ignore everything about Jedi Apprentice (like the AgriCorps and initiates "aging out" at 13).

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Adventure Experience Prompts

In case you want to write some plot to go with the smut, here:

• All the weird Force bantha poodoo! Someone touches an artefact and oops, now there's a Force bond? Time travel to the KOTOR era/Revan turning up in the PT/TCW era?
• Discovering ancient Rakatan devices! Trying to figure out WTF happened with them! Anything dealing with the legacy of the Infinite Empire.
• A new Separatist stronghold has been discovered! Who's in charge? Grievous? A tactical droid? Some all-new non-droid General Count Dooku hired after one more disappointment from Grievous? What horrible trouble could befall our heroes this time?
• Someone gets kidnapped and potentially ransomed! One or more Jedi get sent to rescue/negotiate/pay the ransom.
• Completely by happenstance, they're at a location when Something Interesting happens, and since they're Jedi, the local authorities ask them to solve the murder mystery/high-profile theft/terrorist attack.
• Or the interesting happens to them! A large diplomatic event between two planets that attach supreme importance to pod racing, Separatists attacking someplace and the only their legion is close enough to respond, a bizarre Force Ghost starts haunting the Temple basement, etc!
• Or a smaller mishap, like them ending up in the rakghoul-infested sewers of Taris by accident and having to find their way out or something.
• They land on an island – only to discover that it's actually a mat of carnivorous floating vegetation anchored to a volcano by a tree

Ships

Anakin Skywalker/Mace Windu
(You can set this in an AU where Anakin and Padmé never got together, or have them have broken up offscreen pre-fic.)

Mace deserves a hot young knight to bed and someone should probably fuck the Dark Side right out of Anakin. Please have Anakin be knighted. Smut-wise, some manner of glad to be alive sex post-battle? Or a rare moment of peace and quiet at the Temple has them take advantage of the downtime. Or they're sparring together and things get really hot and heavy! Or some Clone War thing that means they totally gotta fuck (Seppie bioweapon that only targets virgins? political negotiations? sex pollen?) I don't have strong top/bottom preferences – maybe have Mace get to bottom, as that's rarer? Something with Anakin having gotten a bit of experience so he can seduce longterm crush Mace without Mace feeling too much guilt, except Mace is, surprise!, a virgin (too busy to get laid) would also be interesting.

Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul
(Please give Maul functioning genitals, either of the functional prostetic type or fleshly type by e.g. having him regrow them in a bacta tank, AUing the way Obi-Wan defeated him, or having him use Sith Superglue to slap his original lower half back on.)

I love the enemies to lovers aspect here and how they're both quippy, sassy assholes at heart. The chemistry can be explosive. Enemies to sex pollen induced fuckbuddies to lovers? Or maybe Maul finally gets back from the bacta tank/prosthetician and oops, his obsession with Kenobi has a sexual component? Or a bunch of "only I get to kill you!" and then Obi-Wan decides to derail this to sex, because all that shirtless lightsabering is hot actually, so to the victor go the spoils? Or set it during TPM - the duel goes differently, so they're separated from Qui-Gon, and a dialogue is ignited that leads to sex? (Maul's 22 and Obi-Wan 25 in TPM. Maul is definitely young enough to be horny and Obi-Wan did just have an argument with his master.) Or before, with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon running across a younger (18+) Maul and things progressing in a sexual direction. WRT top/bottom preferences, I'd prefer bottom Maul and giving him a chance to be vulnerable.

Shaak Ti/OFC
I have a vision of Shaak Ti as an amazing domme. Would love top (Shaak) POV. I really like bondage, breathplay, and a little bit of knifeplay (slight cutting of the skin is fine, nothing deep). Inappropriate use of the Force is a big plus. I love boobs! Having boobflesh bulge out between fingers while squeezed, sucking on nipples, boobs bouncing during a hard fucking, sucking on nipples/boobs, spilling something on boobs for the express purpose of getting to lick it off, intentionally orchestrated wardrobe malfunctions that expose boobs. I also like tribbing! Light xeno is great but nothing that would make the sex into somthing PIV-like (e.g. a dick-like ovipositor).

OFC preferences: Boobs, medium or large. Humanoid. Submissive.



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