Flying for Miles (Vorkosigan, G, gen)

[extrapenguin]

Title: Flying for Miles
Rating: G
Wordcount: 370
Synopsis: Miles Vorkosigan buys a swordstick. He proceeds to wreak havoc. Nothing new from the Milesian front, in other words.
Bujold Ficathon 2013

Ekaterin should have feared the worst when Miles burst in after cane shopping, shouting “Look what I got!” and otherwise behaving like a five-year-old during a sugar rush. However, this was Miles, so she refrained from assuming anything.

Then Miles had bounced over to where she was and triggered the release mechanism. The sheath had sprung out with such a force that it had almost knocked over a bookshelf. Then Miles had collected the sheath and bounced off, leaving Ekaterin to gather up all the displaced books.

 

For someone who needs a cane, Lord Vorkosigan sure is energetic. Roic leaped out of the way as Lord Vorkosigan abruptly changed direction.

Roic had no idea where they were going until they arrived at the nursery door. Lord Vorkosigan burst in, Roic attempting to stay on his heels.

“Helen, Sasha, look what I got!” he shouted out, brandishing his swordstick.

“It's a cane, Dad”, Lady Helen replied, exasperated.

“Ah, but this is no ordinary cane”, Lord Vorkosigan said, pointed his swordstick at the wall, and triggered the release mechanism. The swordstick's cover flew in a straight line, hit the wall with some speed, and bounced back off. “This is a swordstick!”

Then the Lord, bless his misguided heart, had his children practice using the swordstick's sheath as a projectile weapon. Roic was on fetch duty.

 

The next day the Imperial Auditors had a meeting. Lord Vorkosigan had brought his swordstick, and was eagerly displaying it for all to see. Lord Auditor Vorgustafson was making polite interested noises.

“-and to top all that, the sheath functions as a projectile weapon!” Lord Vorkosigan finished and pointed the swordstick at the door. Well, the thud would certainly be impressive.

As the little Lord pressed the release catch, the door opened. The Emperor was looking in the other direction and just quick enough in opening the door to get socked in the gut by the sheath. He bent over double as Lord Vorkosigan jumped out of his seat to apologize. Lord Auditor Vorlaisner placed his face in his hands.

The door opened up further. An ImpSec Captain was standing behind the Emperor, and said: “That, Sire, is why you should have let me open the door!”