On changing people's minds

[extrapenguin]

I appear to have actually done it.

The target: a guy who actually respected my opinions and wanted to hear me out (this part is mandatory, I think), probably had Asperger's, and was the son of a person in the anti-gay marriage league (so his opinion was at least partly hereditary).

(I mention the Asperger's because I think that without it, he'd have got the "gays are bad" part that is the unacknowledged backdrop of most anti-gay marriage sentiment. As-is, the papered-on-top excuse objections were his actual objections.)

How I actually did it: in a chat program I, in as noncombative a way as possible, explained my position, and gently informed him that his concerns on gay couples' kids were wrong (research round-up) and also I side-eye the "but the definition of marriage is ~Christian~" position, since no-one complains hugely about or constantly proposes a new term for civil weddings.

Evidence that I did it: he dropped the issue and shortly removed the "marriage = man + woman" page from his likes on FB.

It is a heady feeling, to know that people can change for the better and know that one has caused that oneself. So, uh, there's your daily positivity. I should probably feed myself.

Comments

[stardreamer]

Good for you! I agree that your first point is key; if the other person isn't willing to listen to your arguments in the first place, it's hopeless.

[glinda]

Yay! Well done! Every little positive change helps make the world a better place!

[extrapenguin]

Ayup! And, since this guy is the type to produce long tl;dr comments with footnotes on Facebook of all places, he might even spread the positive change.

[glinda]

Even better!

[dhampyresa]

Congrats!